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This is for [personal profile] gattodoro who has an unhealthy interest in the relationship of Betty and West. Just saying. And also, Betty approves of your Westcoast joke, just fyi. He will use it for the remainder of his ENTIRE holiday. West, on the other hand, doesn't like you very much anymore. Might want to check your car for explosives in the next couple of days.



‘That is possibly the least diplomatic I’ve ever seen you, West. That poor taxi driver was on the verge of crying.’

‘I can relate.’

‘No reason to let it out on him. It’s not his fault that you agreed to go surfing with me.’

‘No, I am certain that it’s yours.’

‘I am certain that it is because you are rather weak-minded and very impressionable. You can be talked into pretty much anything. You could very well be a member of a cult. Are you? A member of a cult?’

‘No.’

‘You sure, West? Not one of those born again types or anything? Or a member of, what’s that funny group again that believes in saviours coming in spaceships?’

‘Trekkies?’

‘No, you bampot. I reckon it is Scietologists.’

‘I’m not one of those either.’

‘Anyroad. My point is -’

‘You have a point? Like, ever?’

‘This is my point, West. You could be more diplomatic from time to time. I mean, I’ve been there when you told Christopher you’d rather scoop your own brain out with a spoon than listen to him a second longer.’

‘I never said that, Gerry.’

‘Pretty sure you did.’

‘Very sure I didn’t.’

‘Aye, you may have a point. He’d have kicked you out if you had, and where would you be then, a hobo living under the bridge.’

‘Yes, that is precisely what would have happened and not at all you listening to too many Red Hot Chilli Peppers songs. You are probably the most impressionable being I have ever encountered. And I am including Miranda’s ducks.’

‘That’s not very nice of you, West. You’re being mean. I’m gonna tell on you.’

‘To whom? Christopher?’

‘No, your ex-wife. Wives.’

‘I wasn’t married to either of them.’

‘And you fathered two children with each of them? How very uncatholic of you. Are you catholic by any chance?’

‘No. Silent member of the Church of England.’

‘Good.’

‘Why?’

‘I can’t show an interest in your faith and beliefs and whatnot? I am insulted, West, insulted. Of course I care about your immortal soul.’

‘I never doubted that. You are a very caring friend and not at all a Scottish weirdo. My question was more about the reason to why you’re asking this now?’

‘Well, I heard that there are great white sharks where we’re gonna go and surf, didn’t I?’

‘Great white - excuse me?!’
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