Fic: Tiger

Jul. 30th, 2017 09:48 pm
afra_schatz: Made by wizzicons on LJ (Default)
[personal profile] afra_schatz
I'm sorry for the absolute quality content of this. I blame too much sun and the BFF's inability to give decent prompt :).



'Lando, who do you think will win in a fight, Bean or a tiger?'

Orlando squeezes his eyes shut. But when he opens them, he doesn't wake up in his bed but in Dom's living room and Dom is still sitting in his armchair, the joint in his hand. Not a nightmare then.

'Shut up, Dom,' Orlando says.

'Lando, come on,' Dom replies in a whiny noise that he used for maximum annoyance ever since first form. Even back then, Orlando wished someone would give him detention.

'Laaando.'

'I'mma give you detention if you don't zip it.'

Dom cackles and really who is Orlando kidding, Dom isn't afraid of him when he is completely drug-free (side effect from boarding with someone for years and having seen them a. naked, b. falling off the lower roof of Wellesley Hall, c. crying due to 107 (Orlando counted) mosquito bites. Thankfully not all at the same time). So of course Dom isn't afraid of him when completely high on a Sunday afternoon.

'Lando, come on,' Dom predictably insists. He also refuses to hand the joint back to Orlando. 'Bean or a tiger?'

'Sean,' Orlando replies whilst still holding out his hand.

Dom makes a very overdone face of surprise - really, like an actor trying to reach the semi-blinds in the last row.

'What? Why?'

'Tiger would try to sneak up on him, Sean'd bellow "Oi!" into the undergrowth, tiger would die of a heart attack,' Orlando argues. 'Now give me the fucking joint.'

Obviously impressed by Orlando's supreme reasoning, Dom does as asked, but only after he took another hit. After exhaling very slowly his voice sounds like a broken bicycle pump.

'All right. How about Bean versus...,' he starts, thinks, beams. 'A saber tooth tiger? And a mammoth?'

Dom pushes his lower jaw forward as far as it will go. Orlando snickers. That has little to do with Dom's ability to unhinge his jaw and all with the mental image of Sean with a club dressed as a caveman. Orlando should maybe stop smoking after this drag.

on 2017-07-30 07:51 pm (UTC)
openidwouldwork: (shitty day)
Posted by [personal profile] openidwouldwork
@cheers Orlando@ that IS supreme reasoning!

http://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss329/missmaura_album/Sean%20Bean/seanstiger.jpg

Tiger? not a problem
Edited on 2017-07-30 08:08 pm (UTC)

on 2017-07-31 07:00 am (UTC)
noalinnea: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] noalinnea
He definitely should keep going, somebody has to tell him that! If he's already seeing cave-man Sean... I'd love to hear how he envisions Viggo, Eric and Cate would deal with a tiger :)

on 2017-07-31 03:57 pm (UTC)
gattodoro: (Sean torso)
Posted by [personal profile] gattodoro
I feel very sorry for the tiger.

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