afra_schatz: Made by wizzicons on LJ (Default)
[personal profile] afra_schatz
Who on earth allowed this to happen??



Hiya, this is Jane Thelwell, and you've reached The Pony Club. I cannot take your call right now, probably because I am brushing a pony. But if you want to, you can leave a message with your concern and your number and I promise to get back to you as soon as I took off my muddy boots

All right, Janey? This is Gerry speaking, reporting for duty. No, wait, not duty. That'd be a bit difficult, what with me not being in the country and everything. Though I reckon if you paid the bill, I suppose I could talk to Al Capony over the phone and get him to sleep? I mean, how no? Anyroad, not why I am calling now. I'm calling to tell you, as you requested, that I arrived safely at LAX. I didn't get lost in translation, which means you and the other nonbelievers now owe me a sack of carrots. Mind, my flight was nonstop from London, so to be honest, if I'd missed that, I still wouldn't have been lost. But a bet's a bet, and it's your turn to pay up. You can start by giving Al some of my carrots. You were right about the in-flight food and entertainment, though, I'm in proper need of something to bite and a ginger right now, and I'm already done with the book you let me borrow. Oh, also, I kinda forgot the book on the plane. Well, I didn't so much forget it as give it to this wee little girl who wanted to have it. I promise to bring you something to make up for it. How do you feel about a couple of pockets full of sand? I'd promise you a jellyfish cause it'd make an awesome addition to – oh, aye, mate, sure, there you go... proper heavy, that is, what do you have in there, bricks? - Sorry bout that, Janey, I'm still stuck at the conveyor belt because apparently American Airways lost my luggage. That'd be a wee bit inconvenient. Do you think I can learn to surf in my boxers? They probably have wet suits there, though. Not sure how I feel about pressing myself into a borrowed wet suit, though. Isn't that a bit like rinsing out a condom and – oh, I'm getting funny looks here. Right, right. US of A, land of the puritan bampots. Good thing I didn't decide to wear my kilt then, eh. Anyroad, Janey, I reckon I just spotted my backpack, so I'm gonna hang up now and find myself some food and a hotel or summat. Remember to give Al Capony my carrots, what with me being gone for three weeks, he's gonna miss me. Well, I reckon you can have one as well, in that case, aye?

on 2017-07-17 06:35 am (UTC)
openidwouldwork: (THUD)
Posted by [personal profile] openidwouldwork
The veterinary in me needs to point out that a pony's digestive system does not live by carrots alone...

on 2017-07-17 01:16 pm (UTC)
gattodoro: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] gattodoro
They gave Gerry a visa? The fools!

Al Capony is probably looking forward to three weeks of napping without being bothered by the strange shouty man.

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