Fic: Day 1

Jul. 3rd, 2017 10:36 pm
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I sincerely apologize to you and to Jane Austen for this, I really do.



For the first day of project oriented learning week at Jackson College, Gina Torres has her charges re-write great romantic literature. Jaqueline McFarlane interprets the term 're-write' as 'shamelessly steal 98% from Jane Austen' and understands that the a dialogue about romance is best delivered by her favourite biology teacher and the scary chemistry teacher he, for some reason, calls his best mate. This is the result of her work:

It's a truth universally acknowledged that every school in possession of a cynical chemistry teacher is in want of a project oriented learning week themed 'love throughout the centuries'.

However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on Monday morning, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding staff members, that he is considered as the rightful property of the school itself.

'My dear West,' said Mr Butler  to Mr West one day, 'have you heard that project oriented learning week has started at last?'

Mr West replied that he had not.

'But it has,' returned Mr Butler; 'for Eric has just been here, and he told me all about it.'

Mr West made no answer.

'Do not you want to know what the motto is?' cried Mr Butler impatiently.

'You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.'

This was invitation enough.

'Why, my dear, you must know, Eric says that this week is all about love. And he must know he has it from a young man of short temper from the North of England who also happens to teach whatshisface, philosophy here; he was so much delighted with the idea of project learning that he agreed with  Sean immediately; that he is to take charge of this week, and we are all his servants and are to be in the house until the end of next week.''

'What is his name?'

'Orlando. West, for heaven's sake, you've been working with him for a decade.'

'Is he married or single?'

'Oh! single, my dear, to be sure, though I do not know what that has got to do with anything! A single man of short temper. What a fine thing for our school!'

'How so? How can it affect the school?'

'My dear West,' replied Mr Butler, 'how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of him doing all the work for us.'

'Is that his design in instigating this week?'

'Design! Nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that he may blow a fuse when he sees my project and take over, and therefore you must drag him here him as soon as you see him.'

'I see no occasion for that. You and the girls may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better; for, as you are as useless as any of them. Orlando might like you the best of the party.'

'My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of annoying the shit out of Orlando, but I do not pretend to be any thing extraordinary now. When a man has fifteen almost grown up girls in his group, he ought to give over thinking of his own annoyability. Is that even a word, West?'

'In such cases, a man has not often much irksomeness to think of.'

'But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Orlando when he comes into the neighbourhood.'

'It is more than I engage for, I assure you.'

'But consider your mate; me. Only think what an opportunity it would be for me to have the whole week of because I am relieved of my duties.  Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for me to visit him, if you do not.'

'You are over-scrupulous, surely. I dare say  Orlando will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent to his taking over which ever he chooses of the projects; though I must throw in a good word for my own.'

'I desire you will do no such thing. Your project is not a bit worse than the others; and I am sure it is not half as batshit as Viggo's, nor half so good humoured as Dom's. But you are always giving your own stuff the preference.'

'Viggo and Dom have none of them much to recommend them,' replied Mr West; 'they are all silly and ignorant like other girls; but my project has something more of quickness.'

'West, how can you abuse your own colleagues in such way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves.'

'You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these ten years at least.'

'Ah! you do not know what I suffer.'
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