afra_schatz: Made by wizzicons on LJ (Default)
[personal profile] afra_schatz
This one once again is very, very autobiographical, yes.



Now, Bernard knows that this is an unpopular opinion, but he loves going on class trips. In fact, his wife repeatedly suggested to him a change of career – since he liked traveling with groups as much as he hated grading papers, why didn't he become a travel guide. Bernard thinks Marianne a smart woman, but he doubts that she has taken into consideration the fact that Bernard never reads up on the locations he visits. So when anyone asks him about any kind of useful information about, say, Paris, he just invents random facts if he doesn't happen to know the correct answer. He gets away with it with JC's pupils due to a fortunate combination of their gullibility and Bernard's status as wise old man, but he doubts that travel groups who actually pay him money would be that lenient.

So, instead of becoming the Indiana Jones of travel companions, Bernard just volunteers on every occasion when another chaperon is needed. Well, every occasion except for when the P.E. teachers go skying with the lower sixers. He accompanied them once in 2008 and was appalled to learn that he was supposed to be out in the snow, learning how to snowboard, instead of being allowed to sit next to the fireplace with a mug of mulled wine while their charges killed themselves outside.

He is all for learning on a class trip, though, as long as it doesn't involve snowboards. For instance, during this trip to Paris they are just returning from now, he learned that in 1993, for Aids Awareness Day, the Luxor Obelisk was covered in a giant pink condom and that the Place de la Concorde is the location of the offices of the President and the Council of the United Federation of Planets in the Star Trek novels.

His favourite bit from this trip, however, occurs on the bus trip home, somewhere between Dover and them being ridiculously stuck on the M1 just south of Leeds. The somewhat exasperated bus driver succumbed to the constant demands to turn the radio on and up, so they crawl along the motorway to the sound of 90s pop music. Some of the kids – then half the bus – start to sing along, and that is when Bernard learns that a. their kids are blissfully unaware of the concept of acronyms and b. they are not familiar with the spelling alphabet. Because there is a Bloodhound Gang song blasting over the speakers and half the bus sings along the wrong lyrics, well at least 1/4th of them. To their credit, they get the first and the last two right – it is Foxtrot, Kilo, Charlie. But the second one is definitely not “unicorn”, no matter how much Cate next to him insists that it should be.
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afra_schatz: Made by wizzicons on LJ (Default)
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